And things that are not of consequence

To non-Japanese speakers I 'speak' Japanese. To non-native Japanese speakers I don't speak Japanese. To a great deal of Japanese people my "nihongo wa jouzu desu!" Japanese is good. Here is an example: one time I was ordering food at a bar and I said "suimasen... hai, beeru Weistephaner desu, to... tabemasu, onagaishimasu" and the bartender said "tsugouii, nihongo wa jouzu desu!" Well, what did I say in Japanese? "Excuse me, Weistephaner beer please, and... eating"

I tell this story because today I helped a lost tourist while I was waiting for some friends to meet me in Akihabara. I was pointing stuff out to him on his little map and a Japanese man walked up and said "dai jo bu desuka?" I immediately said "dai jo bu desu, arigato" and the tourist man looked at me and said wow, do you speak Japanese? Oh, if only... but that's another story for another time.
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And speaking other stories, in Of Tremors... I alluded to buying a new umbrella. Umbrellas are a thing here. It's hard to describe, but you might get a slight idea from this picture album. Also, I'm following this list and while I'm good for about half of them I wanted to cross off number 17. When I was in the store I realized that are things I might not have known about buying an umbrella. When it comes to other accessories like shoes, bags or jewelry I have certain criteria and some sense about what is or is not a good idea. Realizing how little I knew about umbrellas, and imagining that there was probably a lot more to know, I texted a Japanese friend. The conversation went like this:

me: do you know of a good place to shop for umbrellas? I'm at OIOI and I can't decide if I should get one now
my friend: umm, now I have one from Afternoon Tea, one of girl's Zakka stores. If you'd like feminine style, try it :) I don't really buy umbrellas cause I forget them everywhere. I'd say 2000 yen is average --- (picture of her umbrella included)
me: ooh ok thanks! do you think a long pointy umbrella is something I could take on a plane?
mf: what does a long pointy umbrella look like? no problem, i think
me: um, just an average umbrella I guess. that part is not as important. do you know if there is one material that is better than another? like some umbrellas feel silky. are those just for sunny days or rain too?
mf: um sorry don't know. but I've seen many people who have silky ones on rainy days.
me: ok - thanks for answering my questions! :) (cartoon picture of an umbrella) I think I've found one to buy!
mf: looking forward to seeing you soon :) (cartoon picture of an umbrella)

And now I can assuredly report that there is actually little-to-no important knowledge for buying an umbrella.